It is a new year and you have made your New Year's resolutions. To eat healthier? Live lighter? Be greener? All of the above and more? Citizenpip is here to help! A mom-powered business, Citizenpip was inspired by the belief that making small changes in your daily habits can make a significant impact. Citizenpip offers eco-friendly, practical, and safe reusable lunch kits that make it easy to pack a waste-free lunch.

Citizenpip generously sent me one of their Soup To Nuts Kits (pictured above) for review.

The Soup To Nuts Kit includes:

All of Citizenpip's "munchgear" is "muck-free" containing no lead, no BPA, no PVC, and no phthalates. What it does contain is great little air-tight containers perfectly sized for snacking at lunch. Now your child can have their favorite sandwich at school without it getting smooshed in a brown paper bag. Not to mention, there is no bag to throw away! Maybe you want to take some leftovers to work for lunch the next day? No problem, the silicone-seal leak-proof containers can handle an ooey-gooey entree too. Each BPA-free polypropylene container comes with four flaps on the lid, that snap onto the bottom, to securely seal the contents inside. I sent my 13-year old with it on a school trip and she arrived home incident free. Since she only packed a sandwich and some dry goods that day I thought a little more rigorous testing was needed. I filled each of the containers with various levels of water, packed them into the lunch bag and carried it around in my purse (Yes, I have a big purse) for the day while running errands. I am not as rough and tumbly as an 8-year old boy, but jumping in and out of the car, running to and fro car to store - it is darn cold out there(!) - throwing my purse in shopping carts, and sloshing around while schlepping groceries into the house, I think I put it through its paces. Happy to report that I and the contents of my purse remained dry, I decided to go Mythbuster style and see just what would happen if I were an 8-year old boy.

Dropped from three feet or more and still good! While I honestly believe that glass is better than plastic, I do realize that not everyone may be at that stage and reusable is definitely better than disposable. I love that this kit comes with it all - beverage container, utensils, and napkin are all included. Not just one napkin mind you, but a whole week's worth! Who has time to do laundry every night after returning home from work? No need to worry about that with this kit. There is even an insulated container for packing soup on those cold winter days - like today.

For the complete lineup of Citizenpip products check out their website: www.citizenpip.com

To get your New Year's resolution off to a fun, convenient, eco-start Citizenpip is offering up their Square Meal Kit (pictured above) to one lucky reader in the continental US. Thanks Citizenpip! Leave one of your green resolutions in the comments below by January 13 to be entered to win. I will announce the winner the following day, January 14. Good luck!

Think it is impossible to live without plastic? Think again. Beth Terry of Fake Plastic Fish is well on her way. She saves and tallies all the plastic she consumes and then graciously blogs about it, offering up ways to reduce your consumption. Her plastic tally for 2009 was 3.7 pounds. For the whole year! That is amazing! Most Americans probably tossed 3.7 pounds of plastic packaging during Christmas alone. In fact, her 3.7 pounds averages out to just 4% of what the rest of us consume. I am in awe.

Check out my Monday post over at the Green Phone Booth about the wonders of getting real - a reel mower that is.

What's keeping you from being green?  Time, money, family?  For me it is family.  We do a lot in our house to live sustainably.  Although my husband jokingly refers to me "going Amish", he has been incredibly supportive and generally a good sport about the craziness that ensues.  There are however some things that are currently beyond his scope of acceptability.  Having said that, I have been presented with a rare opportunity.  A summer of solitude.

My husband deploys in May for six months, the chitlins will spend the summer at their mother's, and I will be alone.  Alone to do as I please.  No school activities to run to, no dinners to make, no time-clock to punch, no appearances to keep up, no excuses and no roadblocks.  Nothing.  Given this opportunity, what would you do?  

Would you ... Stop shaving?  Go no 'poo?  Unplug the refrigerator?  Use cloth wipes?  Eat local?  Vegetarian?  Vegan?  Cancel the cable?  Buy nothing?  Pee on your tomatoes?  Buy a goat?  Chickens?

It is exciting to think about isn't it?  I have a few plans already.  Mostly to do with cutting costs and a massive garden.  There is lots of work to be done to shrink our yard and expand our food source.  Maybe this summer I will finally figure out what to do with all those walnuts littering the lawn? 

With a free summer schedule and very little responsibility, it is time to delve deeper into my quest for a more eco-friendly, simple, sustainable life.  I realize not everyone has this chance, so I am giving you the opportunity to live vicariously through me.  There are two polls on my sidebar: one asking "What would you do?" and the other "What should I do?".  Both polls will be open until April 30.  At that time I will take into consideration the question(s) with the most votes under "What should I do?" and then do it.  I may choose one adventure for the entire summer or several with the most votes to split into month trials.  I am also open to suggestions not listed on the poll.  I know there are things out there that I have not even thought about!  Leave a comment and I will look into it.  Of course I will blog about it along the way.  Good, bad, and ugly.

So what has been rolling around in the back of your mind and what is keeping you from doing it?

Hello Greeen Sheeepers.  I have kidnapped this blog out of sheer desperation.  I am concerned about my wife.  You see, her behavior has changed dramatically in the last few years.  The woman who was once an animal eating, SUV driving "normal" person has turned into something else.  She says she has gone "green".  I believe it is something more sinister.  Something so dark and so disturbing that I am fearful of even talking to you about here on these electronic pages.  The boundless love for my wife pushes me on however.  Dear readers, be warned.  Look long and hard into your souls and consider your own fate before deciding to read further.  The evil forces at work may look in your direction next. 

I do not believe my wife has gone green...I believe she has gone...Amish.

That's right.  She has fallen  victim to Mennonite Mendunugu magic! 

Before you dismiss me as a crazy, insane, mad, demented, deranged, unbalanced, unhinged, mental, dotty, crack-brained, out to lunch, bananas, cuckoo, dippy, batty, daffy, loony, absurd, foolish, nonsensical, inane, ridiculous, preposterous, laughable, ludicrous, asinine, stupid, harebrained, out to lunch screw ball hater of the plain people who's cheese has slipped off their cracker, nut job, let me present my evidence:

Just a few short years ago, this was my wife.  A snowmobile racing, demolition derby driving, environment killer.  (Damn I loved that)!  Then one shadowy day things changed.  

She announced that she would no longer be using any chemicals in the house for cleaning.  I found this rather odd.  She explained that they were harmful to your health.  I rebutted as any good Republican would  that large corporations would not harm people just to make a few billion dollars. This had no effect. (The Amish infection had already taken hold). So what will we be cleaning with?  She proudly proclaimed that we would only be using vinegar!  I was confused, but seeing the proverbial writing on the wall agreed. (But only after she explained how much money it would save us).  Every day since, I come home to a house that smells like someone just got done canning pickles. 

That is a great segue to my next piece of proof.  Soon she is turning the back yard into an organic garden. (Again with the whole no-chemical business).  And what are we going to do with all of this bounty of nature?  Can it of course.  Well at least if the house is going to smell like pickles, I may actually get to eat one.  A garden needs fertilizer.  So naturally a compost pile was next to rear it's egg shell and banana peel encrusted head. 

The no chemical illness next manifested itself in the form of aversion to known bodily hygiene products.  Suddenly deodorant, soaps, and shampoos were replaced by A Dr. Bronner and his "magic" hemp oil elixir.  Even shaving cream became a victim of the good doctor.  Next the razors themselves fell prey. Exchanged for some archaic metal contraption that appears to eat the blade.  It wasn't long before deodorant fell under her scrutiny.  Good bye Secret and your powder fresh scent, hello Arm and Hammer and your...powder.  And if you don't think it could get any weirder than that...it did.  She may not enjoy me sharing this with you, but I will anyway.  She started making her own "feminine hygiene products" out of felt or something...I don't know...they are purple and kind of fuzzy.  I try not to touch them.

The move to Amishness started speeding up as the summer grew hotter.  The Maytag Neptune dryer that was once her prized possession was now an object of wasteful disdain.  Our clothes now dried non-pollutingly in the wind like sun dried nuts. And were nearly as crunchy.   But summer drew to an end as it has an annoying habit of doing.  The clothes had to move to new accommodations in the basement.  If she gets her Christmas gift request they will be joined there by a worm composter.  One can only dream.

As the cold Wisconsin winter settled in, the old fuel oil furnace in the basement came to the chopping block.  Lacking the funds to replace it with a geothermal unit the only course of action was to turn the thermostat down to 55 degrees.  If we had a fireplace, I can assure you I would be getting real familiar with an axe.  

As winter begins its slow retreat we start to dream of spring.  While most peoples heads are filled with visions of beaches and boats.  My newly Amish wife can only think of replacing my riding lawn mower with a goat.  

All electrical appliances are now plugged into power strips that must be shut off when said appliance is not being used.  Curtains are opened and lights are not turned on during the day.  I know in the deepest regions of my heart that the day is not far off when the electricity is gone forever.

I was finally compelled to face this evil menace when I discovered her making butter in the kitchen.  She was using a Kitchen Aid mixer, but the vision of her not behind the wheel of a derby car but behind a butter churn was disturbingly easy to conjure.  Do not fail to head this warning.  The threat is real.  Don't let hard work and polite manners of the Amish fool you. They exist only to lure in new members under a green guise.  

This week at The Green Phone Booth the family and I embark on a meatless Lenten journey.  Blazing blindly down a trail we have yet to travel, I ponder "What will we eat?".  Feel free to leave any vegetarian tips, links, or recipes in the comments.  Preferably non-pasta!  We already eat a lot of it and I fear we will be on pasta overload at the end of our forty day fast.

Degrees.

In an effort to curb our atrocious fuel oil consumption, mostly to reign in the exorbitant bill that inevitably comes with it, I set our thermostat at 55 degrees back in November and we have been freezing our buns off ever since.  Okay not really, but keeping our house at a constant cool 55 degrees in Wisconsin has brought about some unexpected side effects.

1.  Your plants die.

Apparently there is a reason palm trees grow in tropical regions.  Sadly, my 8 foot palm tree is half dead.  I should have pulled it into the interior of the house, but the solarium receives the most light.  I guess it needed warmth and light.  I am not sure it is going to survive the winter.

2.  Bread never rises.

Proofing dough requires warmth.  We have none, or at least very little.  Baking bread was a laborious weekend long project.  I would follow the sun; moving my bowl of dough from room to room, letting it rest on the floor in a sunny spot.  Eventually, it would end up overnight in the upstairs bathroom, seemingly the warmest place in the house.  Until you stepped out of the shower that is.  Holy sh*t it's cold in here!  Luckily, Santa brought me a bread machine for Christmas.

3. Room temperature butter.

Nearly all baking calls for room temperature butter.  Just whose room are they referring to?  Obviously not mine.  Room temperature butter in this house is still rock hard.  Frustrating to a budding baker who spends hour after hour asking, "Is this soft enough?".  Three hours is about as patient as she can be.  Her cookies always taste good, they just come out a little flat.

4.  Friends and family come equipped with their own slippers.

On the rare occasion someone is actually brave enough to visit you in "Siberia", they bring half their bedroom with them.  It did not take long for our family to start showing up with slippers in tow.  We do not wear shoes in the house, but several pair of socks and slippers are a must to prevent frostbite on your little piggies.

5.  Athletes foot.

This is something you would expect in much warmer temperatures.  All those socks and slippers I referred to above?  Pair that with leaping from the shower and getting dressed in less than 30 seconds.  Does not leave a whole lot of time for drying off.  My feet go directly from shower to socks and stay there indefinitely until the next shower.  So yeah, athletes foot.

6.  Clothes can be "forgotten" in the washer without becoming "funky".

You know what I am talking about.  You do a load of laundry late in the evening and are too tired/lazy to hang it.  I'll get it in the morning.  Morning comes and you forget all about it.  Two days later you open the washer to throw in a load and eww... What's that smell?  Funky clothes.  Damn.  Oh contrare monfrare!  Not in a cold house.  Clothes can sit in there for days without acquiring a musty smell.  Much like food in the refrigerator.

7.  Your washer freezes, along with the clothes in it.

Our laundry room is also our mud-room and entry to the house.  It is a small enclosed heated porch, but not insulated.  The only heat vent is directly beside the washer, about an inch away.  Last year this was never a problem, but then our thermostat was set slightly higher at 62.  Felt cold then, would be a heat wave now.  At 55, our furnace does not run nearly as much, which is the point, but on really cold days the washer will freeze.  Luckily we have had no accidents or broken pipes, only a few giggles when pulling frozen underwear from the washer.

8.  There is no need to apply blush.

My cheeks maintain a youthful rosy glow from the chill in the air.  I'm not just talking about the ones on my face either.  My hands, on the other hand, ha ha are an eery shade of purple.  Like a corpse, but that is another story.

9.  Steam rises from my Diva Cup.

Strange, but true.  That actually happened once and it totally freaked me out.  A sudden drop of 43 degrees and you can visibly see the temperature change.  Just like seeing your breath on a cold winter day.

10.  You are either asked, "Are you leaving?" or "Did I wake you?".

We dress in layers, lots of layers.  On any given day I am wearing long underwear, socks, jeans, multiple shirts, sweatshirt or down vest, fingerless gloves, scarf, and fleece jacket.  And of course, slippers.  But, that goes without saying.  Inevitably, surprise guests think I am on my way out.  Or, on really cold days we can be seen wandering around the house all hours in a bathrobe (over our layers clothes).  They really hold the heat in.

Can you tell me what is missing from this picture?


Birthday candles? No.
Sprinkles? Well, yes, but that is not it.

The paper baking cup!

At least those are reusable, although I am leery of putting silicone in my oven. What I am getting at is, is all that really necessary? Do cupcakes really need their own individual wrapper? What are we protecting them from, ourselves? Why would you want to add a barrier between yourself and that little nugget of goodness? I can hardly wait to get them out of the pan before devouring! Or, is it that we have become so lazy that we cannot spare the finger pressure to spray the pan to keep them from sticking?

Sometimes I have to stop and wonder, "Why am I doing this?" Just because you have always done it that way or because everybody else does it that way, does not mean you must continue to do it that way. And so it goes with the cupcakes. One day I decided to stop wasting my money on little paper cups that will be used once and thrown away; decided to stop buying paper cups always packaged in plastic; decided to stop adding to the already overburdened waste stream. And you know what? No one even noticed. Makes me think they were never necessary to begin with.

It is tiny choices like this, when added to all the other little things you do to be green, multiplied by all the people in the world trying to live sustainably that equals big change. Do not think for a minute that the minutest thing you do does not make a difference. It does! Solar panels and geothermal heat are wonderful, but the little things count too.

Back in October, I made the leap from disposable razors to shaving with a safety razor and have never looked back. I absolutely love it! I am in my fourth month and have only changed the blade once. My original estimate was one blade per month, with a savings of $236 - $336 and not having to buy blades again for eight years! At this rate I can double that!

So far I have only nicked myself a total of maybe three times. I would have done so with a regular razor also. Ankles and knees sometimes get the best of me when shaving half asleep. It takes no more time than it did when shaving with a disposable. I have nothing but praise for the safety razor. I like it so much that I gave one to the chitlin girl for Christmas.

She left the next day to spend the rest of Christmas break with her mother. I had not thought about it since. The other day I remembered that I never showed her how to use it.

So I asked, "Did you figure out how to use the safety razor?"

She replied, "Yes, it took me a little while to figure out how to open it, but I got it."

"So how is it going?" I pressed on.

She looked at me quizzically, "What do you mean?"

"Well, have you cut yourself yet?" Bracing myself for the answer.

"Why would I cut myself?"

So, there you have it folks. The safety razor: So easy a 12 year old can do it!

Hubby learns what it is like to see the world through green-colored glasses in my Monday post over at the Green Phone Booth.

Household paper goods are so ubiquitous we do not even think about them anymore, but there was a time when towels and napkins were made of soft, reusable cloth. Nowadays the equivalent of about 270,000 trees are used and discarded each day worldwide. the average North American churns through 50 pounds of paper products a year, including napkins, paper towels, tissues, and toilet paper. While some of these goods are made from sustainable tree farms, native forests are still a primary source. This leads to erosion and loss of animal habitats. Plus, papermaking is a toxic process that is hard on the environment. Many paper products are whitened with chlorine-based chemicals - which are not as harmful as chlorine bleach, but still release carcinogens and toxins into the water. Others are scented, dyed, or treated with "lotion" made of petroleum, silicone, and chemical surfactants.

Use cloth napkins and wash them when they are soiled; they are more absorbent than some of the "eco" paper brands. Substitute sponges, dishcloths, or kitchen towels for paper towels. A good way to start is to throw a dish towel over your paper-towel rack, as a reminder to dry your clean hands, countertops, and dishes with a reusable cloth towel instead of a disposable paper one.

How many paper towels does it take to dry your hands? One, two? One never seems like quite enough, but one cloth towel is all it takes to get the job done. Our hand drying towels consist mostly of the flour sack variety. They are thin and therefore dry fast. I like to throw one over my shoulder while working in the kitchen for quick access. Otherwise, one is always hanging on the oven door pull - which acts as a dryer while baking.

I prefer cloth versus paper when cleaning up spills - no matter how messy and disgusting they are. With cloth one is enough to clean my entire kitchen, it holds up to scrubbing, rinsing is not a problem, it is far more economical, does not come packaged in plastic, and I never run out. These "bar towels" are just the right size for wiping down counters, scrubbing the stove top, cleaning the refrigerator, and catching spills.

By investing just a few bucks I have drastically reduced our waste, my trips to the store, dioxins in our air and water, trees being cut for virgin wood fibers, and plastic packaging; all while getting a far better return on my investment than the one time use and disposal of paper towels.

As I walk into the grocery store I cannot help but notice all the carts coming out overflowing with paper and plastic bags. My mind recalls the day when I opened the closet door and was engulfed in an avalanche of plastic shopping bags. I drop my reusable bags in a cart and quickly breeze by the aroma-less bread in its plastic prison. My mind drifts to the heavenly scent wafting from my kitchen as a fresh baked loaf is pulled from the oven. I arrive a my first stop, organic produce. Ugh, more plastic. Why must vegetables be suffocated by plastic? I want to smell them. My mind makes short work of compiling a seed list and adds food preservation to my 2009 to do list. While I load up my string bag, the lady next to me rips off one of those flimsy plastic produce bags and puts in an onion. One onion. Rips off another bag and puts in a red pepper. One pepper. When she reaches for the third bag I bite my tongue and make a graceful exit. My mind adds plastic produce bags to my pet peeve list and files it away in future blog posts.

I enter the meat department and search for some grass fed beef. My mind instantly conjures up an image I saw recently of a herd of cows all pooping. Pooping at the same time. Nothing but butts, pooping. It was like a methane fountain of poo. Gross! I look at my list, thankfully I do not need much since we are having meatless meals twice this week. I pick up a pound wrapped in plastic on a styrofoam tray. My mind thinks back to Beth's post about when presenting her butcher with a reusable container, a journalist asked, "Do you ever get embarrassed?". At that moment I realize I am embarrassed for buying the plastic wrapped beef on a sytrofoam tray and decide to start bringing my own container to buy from the meat counter.

Making my way around the perimeter of the store I move on to the dairy section. Pathetically excited to skip the five dollar pound of organic butter, I reach for the glass bottle of cream and look forward to making butter with my daughter. I start to drool as my mind relives the fresh buttermilk pancakes we enjoyed for breakfast. Also on my list is yogurt and sour cream. Sighing, I add them to the cart. My mind adds them to the tally of the non-recyclable tower in my basement awaiting some future use. Learning to make my own also goes on my 2009 to do list. A man reaches over me for a styrofoam carton of conventional eggs. My mind replays the scene from The Meatrix where chickens are being de-beaked so they don't peck each other to death living in such close quarters. I pop open a carton to ensure the beautiful brown, free range, organic miracle nuggets inside are all intact before placing them in my cart. My mind goes back to the tower in my basement. Next to it is a stack of cardboard egg cartons happily awaiting Spring, when they will be filled with seedlings to be transplanted into my square foot garden. Milk is the last dairy item on my list. I grab three gallons of rBGH free milk and make room for them in my cart. Thankful my state still allows rBGH free labeling, my mind wonders what I will do if the labeling becomes outlawed? rBGH free milk already costs more, but organic milk costs twice as much. I cannot afford organic. My mind goes back to a time I believed this. Yet, a family of four living on one income we eat nearly all organic. My mind thinks of the all the receipts I have kept for the past three years with the intent of developing a budget. I decide to add up all those receipts to see just what we were spending eating conventional compared to organic. Perhaps I can afford organic.

In the bulk goods section I have a lengthy list: flour, sugar, salt, pepper, oats, baking powder, cornstarch, dill, rosemary, peanut butter, honey, rice, my favorite chocolate covered raisins (damn no grazing sign!), and Dr. Bronner's. One by one I fill my containers from home and check an item off my list. Reused spaghetti sauce jars, a yogurt container from the tower in my basement, a drawstring bag made from an old camisole, whatever; all with their tare weight recorded in permanent marker on the bottom. I fill the container, insert the appropriate PLU twist tie from a previous shopping trip, and place the item in my cart. Happy to be making use of the stockpile I could not bear to send to the landfill; someone next to me grabs a plastic bag off the shelf, fills it pasta, grabs a twist tie, records the PLU on it and goes about their way. My mind wonders why bother shopping in bulk to avoid the packaging if you are just going to create unnecessary packaging by taking it home in a plastic bag? #3 on my pet peeve list, bulk goods plastic bags.

My last stop on this grocery trip is the checkout. I file in line like cattle being herded for slaughter. Waiting my turn I read the tabloid headlines, fight the urge to buy that magazine with all the wonderful recipes in it, compare contents of shopping carts, blush when someone oddly examines mine, and pretend to look at my list whilst avoiding the judgmental gazes. My mind delivers a pang of guilt as I recall I used to be on the sending end of those judgmental gazes. "Hippy." "Freak." All to quick to stereotype. How wrong I was.

The cashier greets me with the ubiquitous, "Did you find everything you were looking for?". Hmm... I will not go there. She rings everything through and gives me my total, nearly the same as always, no matter what I buy. I hand over my reusable bags and the bagger obligingly fills them. While fishing for my keys I do not notice he slips my grass fed beef into a plastic bag before placing it into my cloth bag. Oh bother. Pet peeve #4. My mind asks, "Why do I even try?".



This is my submission for the January APLS Carnival on "mind games". Read all submissions January 22 at VWXYNot?

Keeping with the theme of Make Your Own, Béchamel, a basic white sauce is something every home cook should have in their culinary back pocket. I have been known to whip it out on unprepared nights when the family is staring at me asking, "What's for dinner?". Pasta, tuna, and veggies in a creamy white sauce - no problem. Homemade mac and cheese - coming right up. Fettuccine Alfredo - simple, set the table.

Serve as is with pasta, veggies or whatever you choose; or, use it as a base for other dishes. Add some paprika, cayenne pepper, and a few red pepper flakes to use it a a spicy sauce for sausage and gravy over biscuits.

ALFREDO SAUCE

Throw in 2 tablespoons cream cheese, 1 clove of minced garlic, 1 cup of grated Parmesan. Top with parsley flakes and you have a quick and easy Alfredo sauce. The Chitlins are Alfredo fiends! I have made several versions and I like this one the best because it does not separate when leftovers are stored in the refrigerator. We used to spend over $3.00 on a jar of processed Alfredo sauce. This is so easy to make and tastes waaay better.


CHEDDAR CHEESE SAUCE

After the basic white sauce has cooked and thickened, stir in 1 1/2 cups (6 ounces) shredded sharp or extra-sharp Cheddar cheese, 1 teaspoon paprika, 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard (optional), and 1/8 teaspoon ground red pepper. Makes about 3 1/2 cups. Stir in cooked elbow noodles or shells for homemade mac and cheese. You can leave the mustard out, but it really does taste better with it. I do not even like mustard, but always include it. The Chitlins have never complained about it either. If you want a golden crust, top your mac and cheese with buttered bread crumbs and broil until desired color.


Once you get the basic recipe down, add ingredients to vary dishes to your heart's content. Use what you have on hand. The ingredients needed are almost always already in your kitchen. Save a trip to the grocery store and skip the extra packaging of over-priced processed "food". Béchamel is cheap and easy, the leftovers store well, and you will never have to panic again when someone utters the dreaded, "What's for dinner?".

With the economy in a slump and the future of the environment in question a lot more people are looking for ways to consume less and make do with what they already have. From learning to sew, make repairs, grow a garden, and cook from scratch there is a whole lot of DIY going on. Lately I have noticed a new buzz in the blogosphere - MYO. Make Your Own certainly is not a new concept; for generations before us it was a way of life, there just is a lot of talk about it as of late.

In the past week alone a slew of posts have popped up.

Santa did not bring me worms for Christmas like I had hoped, but he did bring me a gift that keeps on giving. Keeps on giving him bread. I got a shiny new bread machine.

I just started baking my own bread a few months ago with lackluster results. I had grand aspirations of eliminating plastic bread bags, saving money, and impressing my family with my domestic skill while making the house smell great. Instead I got oddly shaped-hard-dense loaves, entire days lost to "bread making", bread shortages, and emergency runs to the store to buy bread.


So when I unwrapped my new toy on Christmas day I thought my prayers had been answered. Yes! Now we can enjoy some real bread. I am still not sure if the gift was for me or hubby. Either way it does not vouch well for my bread baking artistry. I had such high hopes for this machine. You put the ingredients in and take the bread out. Perfect! Nothing for me to mess up.


Then explain this. Is it a chef's hat? A giant popover? What? It certainly cannot be a loaf of bread from my new magic machine. Can it? Damn. I have made three different loaves and none were good. I had better luck the old fashioned way. What am I doing wrong? Is there some secret bread baking society that I am banned from, a gluten gene I lack, or am I just doomed to forever eat mass produced bread out of a plastic bag? The only somewhat success that has come out of this is a batch of cinnamon rolls and butter.


Yes, butter. Since I was having no luck on the bread front I thought I would try to at least make its topping good. Homemade butter, which I never thought to be something I was capable of, is surprisingly easy to make. All you need is cream and a means to agitate it. A stand mixer works great.


Fifteen minutes later whipping at medium-high to high speed and it transforms from cream to butter.